We went to see Grandma again last night. She was doing quite a bit better. She was awake for brief periods and was able to talk to us a little. Her eyes lit up when she saw the kids.
It was so good to be able to talk to her.
Then today, she took a turn for the worst again. She is now on morphine and they are talking about hospice.
She told Mom, "I am so tired."
I know her earthly body IS tired.
I feel selfish in wanting her to hang on, but I can't imagine not having her here with me.
I am not sure how much longer she has on this earth but I know that I can rest in the peace that I will see her again in Heaven.
The kids and I were reminiscing about some of our favorite Grandma memories.
I remember back when I was pregnant for Nater. When I had my monthly check-ups, Alex and Niyah would stay with Grandma(this was back when her health was fairly good). Grandma had a little bin of toys and watched cartoons with the kids. Alex remembers that she kept sippy cups in her cupboard and filled them with chocolate milk for him and Niyah. Grandma loves chocolate milk. The first thing I noticed when I walked into her hospital room was the little carton of chocolate milk sitting on the bedside table.
I will always remember our ice cream outings. Grandma usually would get a small vanilla ice cream cone, but when she was feeling adventurous, she would get a banana split and see if she could eat the whole thing.
I also remember some of my childhood memories with Grandma.
Every Saturday, she and Mom would make bread. Grandma would mix it up at her house and bring it next door to our kitchen for it to rise and eventually baked. There was always at least one cinnamon swirl loaf. I remember pulling off pieces of the dough to eat and then trying to rearrange the rest to make it look untouched.
I wish I had written all my memories down ages ago as it is becoming harder to remember them all.
A note to myself for the future/
